One has to wonder if the primary agenda of the fashion magazines is to create a level of dissatisfaction among their female readers regarding their overall body image in an effort to keep them running back for more and more advice on how to achieve this impossible beauty ideal. As they absorb this message that their worth and value stem from their outer appearance and their chief aim is to please the opposite sex, parents are left to sweep up the mess in the years to come. As a longtime opponent of fashion magazines and their message of objectification to our young women, I would love to see parents put them in the same dangerous category as drugs and alcohol. It’s time to ban this harmful filth from our homes and begin the detox process if we or our daughters have bought into the lie.

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Webster’s definition: “The body of persons who live in one house, and under one head; a household.”

Social Scientists’ Definition of Family

Anthropologists defines family as a culture’s biological and marital kinship which rules the patterns of reciprocal obligations Each culture defines who is biological and marital kin. In one culture, kinship is based on the father’s biological line; in another, kinship is based on the mother’s biological line; in another, kinship is based on a combination of both the father’s and mothers biological line. Early African societies made no distinction between brothers, sisters, and cousins. The rules for kinship and marital family relationships are virtually unlimited.

Structure functionalists say the patterns of reciprocal obligations among people and between structures of people and the greater society define family. The greater society has needs that must be met; in order to meet those needs, society creates subsets of people structured to help meet the needs of society. The family is one of those structures. The definition of “family” changes as the needs of the greater society change. Society’s definition of family emphasizes heterosexual bonding, procreation and child rearing; but when the greater society is faced with over‑population and the need to limit population growth, society’s definition of family may be modified to include homosexual bonding and may be more supportive of childless couples.

Situationalists: focus on social, cultural, and physical forces beyond the individual’s control which compel individuals to assume family‑related role behaviors. Family may be either a relatively permanent or a temporary phenomenon. For example, in the midst of war, natural disaster, or even foreign travel, individual adults and/or children may be put together into temporary “family” structures with individuals in the group assuming family role behaviors, especially parental and sibling roles, as the group seeks to endure or survive an ordeal. Temporary “families” may also develop in orphanages boarding schools or military units. The American system of serial monogamy creates and dissolves temporary sequential families and step‑families as the adults marry, divorce, and remarry.

Psychoanalysts: focus on the individual’s stage of development and unconscious needs in defining family.

Social psychologists: focus on the self’s need to belong and to achieve. The two separate approaches are similar since the individual’s sense of attachment or estrangement is important in defining family. Thus, abused or estranged biological offspring may sever their psychological association with the family and effectively dissolve the family. Others, who are not biological kin, may consider themselves to be “family” and effectively create a family or join an existing family.

Developmentalists: focus on physical growth and maturity and the imposition of societal definitions on individuals based on the individual’s chronological age. Developmentalists would be reluctant, for example, to define an infant born to a nine‑year‑old child and the nine‑year‑old child who is its mother as a family, largely because the nine‑year‑old mother is not mature enough, or of sufficient chronological age, to be a proper parent. The anthropologist and the institutionalist, on the other hand, would probably define this pair as a family based on the biological kinship relationship.

Economists: focus on production and consumption activities; the family is a production and consumption unit. Historical economists may define the household slave in an African or Arabian household or the indentured servant in an early American household as part of the family since the slave or servant works and subsists as a member of the family, living in the family household, eating at the family table and participating in family activities.

libertariannation.org

“There is no single definition of family in federal law, neither is there any single definition in state law ‑ each state has multiple definitions for various purposes ‑ insurance, welfare, adoption rights, inheritance, etc.”

B.  As defined by the church.

In Fargo, North Dakota, a lesbian Unitarian Universalist couple, Jo and Louise, along with their children, have been recognized as a family in most circles. But not at the local YMCA, where they have been refused a family membership because their family does not fit the Y’s definition of ‘family.’ After two years of struggle, to get the Y to change their attitudes, the 61‑member Fargo Unitarian Universalist Congregation has become involved in advocating in Fargo for a broader definition of ‘family.’

The Unitarian Universalists, who were in Salt Lake City recently for their annual meeting, could not have presented a more distinct counterpoint to the state’s dominant religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter‑day Saints, commonly known as the Mormon Church.

For instance, during their general assembly, the Unitarian Universalists stretched the traditional definition of family to include gay and lesbian couples, childless couples, unmarried couples with and without children, biracial families, and multicultural families.

“Every family born with love and commitment deserves respect, support, and nurture,” said the Reverend Patricia Hoertdoerfer to the 2,000 delegates assembled in downtown Salt Lake City.

The Mormon Church, on the other hand, sees the family unit of a heterosexual man and woman with child as the primal even eternal relationship. Rather than embrace new definitions of family, the church put out a “Proclamation on the Family” that celebrates traditional notions of family.

On the surface, the Southern Baptists and Mormons appear to have much in common. Both strongly support what they term “family values.” They oppose abortion, urge women to stay home and raise children, and support public prayers. Politically, the two churches see eye‑to‑eye on many issues.

The Family Life Office of the Archdiocese of Atlanta accepts the definition of family as “a

intimate community of persons bound together by blood, marriage, or adoption for the whole of    life” (Familiaris Consortio, 70).

What about the difference between Christian denominations???

From the Baptist Faith and Message adopted by the Southern Baptist Covention:

The Family

God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood, or adoption.

Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God’s unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.

The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God‑given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God‑given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

Children, from the moment of conception, are a blessing and heritage from the Lord. Parents are to demonstrate to their children God’s pattern for marriage. Parents are to teach their children spiritual and moral values and to lead them, through consistent lifestyle example and loving discipline, to make choices based on biblical truth. Children are to honor and obey their parents.

Genesis 1:26‑28; 2:15‑25; 3:1‑20; Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 6:4‑9; Joshua 24:15; 1 Samuel 1:26‑28; Psalms 51:5; 78:1‑8; 127; 128; 139:13‑16; Proverbs 1:8; 5:15‑20; 6:20‑22; 12:4; 13:24; 14:1; 17:6; 18:22; 22:6,15; 23:13‑14; 24:3; 29:15,17; 31:10‑31; Ecclesiastes 4:9‑12; 9:9; Malachi 2:14‑16; Matthew 5:31‑32; 18:2‑5; 19:3‑9; Mark 10:6‑12; Romans 1:18‑32; 1 Corinthians 7:1‑16; Ephesians 5:21‑33; 6:1‑4; Colossians 3:18‑21; 1 Timothy 5:8,14; 2 Timothy 1:3‑5; Titus 2:3‑5; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:1‑7.

Methodist:

The denomination considers divorce a “regrettable alternative in the midst of brokenness,” in other words, a last resort. Too many church leaders offer little or no marital support beyond premarital counseling, Norton says.

Methodist:

Such a society is no other than “a company of men having the form and seeking the power of godliness, united in order to pray together, to receive the word of exhortation, and to watch over one another in love, that they may help each other to work out their salvation.” This was the rise of the United Society, first in Europe, and then in America.

Thirdly: By attending upon all the ordinances of God; such are:

The public worship of God,

The ministry of the Word, either read or expounded.

The Supper of the Lord.

Family and private prayer.

Searching the Scriptures.

Fasting or abstinence.

Lutheran Church:

What can a Christian family do to deal with the challenges of our day?

Openly facing the issues is the first step. Pretending that problems do not exist will certainly not help. Nor will it do for a family simply to hope that they will not be faced with problems.  Ignoring reality will not make it go away.

It is crucial for Christian parents to spend both quality and quantity time with their children.  Reading with their young children, discussing the questions they have and being there to support and encourage them is extremely important.

Husbands and wives need to take time out of busy and hectic schedules to simply talk to one another, discussing the needs they have and the problems they are experiencing, working together to grow in their love for one another, and for their children.

More importantly, Christians need to pray for the Lord’s blessing on their marriages and families, asking God to forgive them for their sins and failures as parents and spouses, and then turning to the Lord’s mercy through their Savior Jesus Christ.

What role do daily devotions have in the life of the Christian family?

One of the most important things a family can do is spend time together in the Word of God

Key ingredients for the family’s devotional time are the Scriptures, the hymnal and the Small Catechism. These are excellent resources for meaningful time together in the Word of God…..

Parents need to discuss their faith with their children, pray with them, and encourage their children in love to do what is right.

The Assembly of God

What does the Assemblies of God believe the Bible teaches about the institution of the family? Is there a biblical model?

The family is not merely an invention of society, but an institution founded by God himself. The family is God’s agency for populating the earth with people who would love God and be loved by Him. It is to be formed exclusively through a loving lifelong marriage covenant between a man and a woman (Genesis 1:26‑28; 2:18, 24).

The Bible is filled with teaching on the family and stories that tell of the triumph and tragedy of families.Both the Old and New Testaments contain numerous reflections on the roles of father, mother and children. The clear message of Scripture is that individuals and families suffer when lives are not lived in accordance with God’s standards.Numerous biblical tragedies are played out in the context of families (e.g.: sibling conflict: Cain and Abel; marital strife: Jacob and Rachel; adultery: David and Bathsheba). When people fail to fulfill their proper functions in the family, they and their families suffer.

What does God expect of the husband/father? The husband is first called by God to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28‑32). The self-giving love of Christ for the Church is the model that the husband ought to emulate. Secondly, the husband is called to honor his wife (1 Peter 3:7). Many family problems between spouses and parents and children would be resolved if these two principles alone were practiced. A husband must remember that his wife is a joint heir with him of the grace of God. She is an expression of God’s favor and grace (Proverbs 18:22). Every Christian husband should view his wife from this perspective of God’s extended love towards him.

The husband is to provide leadership as he models the Christian faith (beliefs and way of living) before his family. He is to reflect in his life the character and virtues of the Christian faith. This happens when he lives a life of integrity, faithfulness, and obedience to God. The physical, material, emotional, and spiritual needs of the family are to be met by the husband and father to the very best of his ability. He is to provide security and protection for his family. There is no biblical justification for not meeting these needs. It is his duty before God (1 Timothy 5:8).

Both husband and wife are to lovingly fulfill each other’s sexual needs (1 Corinthians 7:3‑5). Each should seek to understand the sexual needs of their spouse. The God‑given gift of intercourse in marriage is much more than a physical act. It brings a deep intimacy and oneness that unites a couple and enriches the marriage. This intimate union in the marriage has a positive and profound impact on the family and is to be shared only with one’s lifelong marriage partner.

The wife is called by God to love, respect, and be faithful to her husband (Ephesians 5:22,23; Titus 2:4,5). As a wife and mother she is to be a role model of godliness and do her best to meet the family’s needs (Titus 2:4,5; 1 Timothy 5:14; Proverbs 31:10‑31). The Bible calls her inward character her beauty. She is to model purity and possess a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:1‑7). She is to manage her home, speak with wisdom, and demonstrate prudence (Proverbs 12:4; 31:26,27). She is to assist her husband in nurturing their children. If the father is not a Christian she is to take the full responsibility to rear her children in the ways of the Lord.

Both parents are called by God not only to meet the material and physical needs of the family but also to instruct children in the things of God (Deuteronomy 11:18‑21; Proverbs 22:6). This will necessitate that parents discipline their children. Appropriate discipline is not abuse, but an authentic expression of love and concern (Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 29:15, 17; cf. Hebrews 12:5‑11). Yet parents need to be sensitive, not reacting harshly in anger, avoiding expressions of discipline that would mar the spirit of the child (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21).

Within the family parents should model appropriate masculinity and femininity before their

children. Research has shown that in order to develop properly children need both strong male and

female role models. In situations where only one parent is living in the home, the church can help

model proper male and female roles for children through the ministries of the church.

What about the children? Do they have any responsibilities toward their parents? The Scriptures indicate they do. They should obey and honor their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20; Exodus 20:12). Honor is not merely a verbal affirmation of the parent, but a lifelong pattern of living that does not bring distress, embarrassment, or reproach, but rather happiness, pride, and respect for the parent. Throughout the lives of their parents children are under divine obligation to be a loving support system for them (1 Timothy 5:8).

The Christian family ought to be one where all members care for each other. The emphasis of the biblical model for the family is one of reciprocity (mutual sharing, giving, and receiving). This occurs out of love, respect and concern for others from within the family.

Church of England

Training Courses for Strengthening Family Life

1. In November 1999 the General Synod debated a private member’s motion on training courses for strengthening family life. The following motion was passed unanimously:

2.’That this Synod, following the lead given by the House of Bishops at its meeting in June 1997, affirm the value of courses in marriage preparation, marriage care, baptism preparation and parenting in strengthening family life and furthering the mission of the Church and therefore recommend that every diocese should:

1. Develop appropriate resources and training strategies for such courses.

2. Encourage its parishes to run such courses.

The Board for Social Responsibility produced a background paper (BSR Misc 584) to this debate which is available from the Community & Public Affairs Unit, Church House, Great Smith Street, London  SW1P 3NZ (tel: 020 7898 1535).

From “The Family in Contemporary Society”

Lambeth Conference Resolutions Archive

Resolutions from 1958

Resolution 121

The Family in Contemporary Society ‑ The Christian Family

The Conference commends, as an aid to better teaching about marriage and home life, the following summary of the marks of a Christian family. Such a family:

(a) seeks to live by the teaching and example of Jesus Christ;

(b) joins in the worship of Almighty God on Sundays in church;

(c) Joins in common prayer and Bible reading, and grace at meals;

(d) Is forgiving one to another, and accepts responsibility for one another;

(e) Shares together in common tasks and recreation;

(f) Uses abilities, time, and possessions responsibly in society;

(g) Is a good neighbor, hospitable to friend and stranger.

Lambeth Conference Resolutions Archive

Resolutions from 1958

Resolution 122

The Family in Contemporary Society ‑ The Christian Family

The Conference believes that a most important answer to the crushing impact of secularism on family life lies in a return to the discipline of family prayer and in a faithful common Christian life in the household. It urges that the clergy work towards this end by teaching both the privilege and the means of such worship, and of Bible reading, in which fathers should take their due place with mothers and children as members and ministers of a worshipping community.

Lambeth Conference Resolutions Archive

Resolutions from 1958

Resolution 115

The Family in Contemporary Society ‑ Marriage

The Conference believes that the responsibility for deciding upon the number and frequency of children has been laid by God upon the consciences of parents everywhere; that this planning, in such ways as are mutually acceptable to husband and wife in Christian conscience, is a right and important factor in Christian family life and should be the result of positive choice before God. Such responsible parenthood, built on obedience to all the duties of marriage, requires a wise stewardship of the resources and abilities of the family as well as a thoughtful consideration of the varying population needs and problems of society and the claims of future generations.

C.   As defined by the Bible.

What are the different parts of a family and what are their functions???

Roles – “The essential function that God has designed a man or a woman to fulfill in a marriage relationship”. “One’s responsibility, not one’s rank”. (Rocking the Roles)

Family Functions

The family has basic functions. In order for the family to meet a child’s psychological needs, its members must be nurturing, convey mutual respect, provide for intimacy, and engage in bonding and attachment. The family also socializes the child, guiding the child to be members of the society beyond the family. The family conveys religious and cultural beliefs and traditions to the next generation. The family is the child’s source of economic resources, which meet the child’s various physical needs for food, shelter, and clothing. (Answers.com)

1.  Marriage – Matt 19:4-6

A symbiotic relationship.

2.  Husband/Father

Head – Eph 5:23

Under the curse of Gen 3:16 – Rules 1)dominate, 2)subjugate

Under Christ - Leads 1)responsibility, 2)service, 3)support

Protect

Provide companionship, relationship, intimacy, significance, responsiveness,

Train children     Eph 6:4; Deut 6:6-7; Joshua 4:21-22:Psa 78:3-8,11

“I would advise no one to send his child where the holy Scriptures are not supreme.  Every institution that does not unceasingly pursue the study of God’s word becomes corrupt.  Because of this we can see what kind of people they become in the universities and what they are like now.” (Martin Luther)

3.  Wife/Mother

Helper   suitable, invaluable, custom-made, essential, encourager

Child Lover homemaker

Submission  respect, admire, shared vision,

4.  Child/Godly seed               obey and honor parents, listen and learn from parents

All the verses in the Bible pertaining to “family”:

All are in the context of children

None ever imply that a woman is the head

Purpose of family is to produce godly offspring:

Jer 29:32  therefore thus says the LORD: Behold, I will punish Shemaiah the Nehelamite and his family: he shall not have anyone to dwell among this people, nor shall he see the good that I will do for My people, says the LORD, because he has taught rebellion against the LORD.

D.   The Traditional Family

1. Traditional family was/is not the biblical family:

“In the traditional family the father was conspicuously absent”.

“The traditional family permitted and even encouraged men to “love” their families by neglecting them in the interest of earning a living and achieving career success”.

“The traditional family …..abandoned and abused wives and daughters.”

“The traditional concept of the home was that women were neither esteemed nor challenged”.

“In the traditional family, the woman’s value and identity were measured only with reference to husband and children”.

(Rocking the Role)

1. Why can’t we find a model family?

A.   Sin. We find no “model” of the perfect family described in Scripture. Nor do we find where anyone throughout history has held out a particular family to be the model family. If any family had been perfect, wouldn’t it have been Adam’s or the “righteous” Noah’s? Yet their families were dysfunctional.

3.    Should we even try to be better families?

A.   Sin has not only had its corrosive effect on us as individuals but it has also corrupted all things in this life, including the institution of the family. However, as Christians we are called to pursue what is good and resist what is evil. Just because no man, except Christ, has ever not sinned does that excuse us of pursing a righteous way of living?

1Ti    6:11     But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.

Titus 2: 12    Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age

2 Pet 1:5       But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,

2 Pet 1:6       to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,

2 Pet 1: 7      to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.

We are called to pursue these things then shouldn’t we also pursue better and healthier families?

Heb 12:1     “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which                                  so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,”

1Thess 5:21 Test all things; hold fast what is good.

1Thess 5:22 Abstain from every form of evil.

Eph 5:1       therefore be imitators of God as dear children

Eph 5:2       and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. Eph 5:3     But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;

Eph 5:4       neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

Eph 5:5       for this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of                 Christ and God.

Eph 5:6       let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

Eph 5:7       therefore do not be partakers with them.

Eph 5:8       for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light

Eph 5:9       (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),

Eph 5:10     finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.

B.      We are to study.

2Ti 2:15 “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Pr 23:12 “Apply your heart to instruction, And your ears to words of knowledge.”

Prov 2:1   My son, if you receive my words, And treasure my commands within you,

Prov 2:2   So that you incline your ear to wisdom, And apply your heart to understanding;

Prov 2:3   Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding,

Prov 2:4   If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures;

Prov 2:5   Then you will understand the fear of the LORD, And find the knowledge of God.

Prov 2:6   For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

Prov 2:7   He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;

Prov 2:8   He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints.

Prov 2:9   Then you will understand righteousness and justice, Equity and every good path.

C.      Obedience.

John 14:15   If you love me, you will obey what I command.

Eph 6:4         Fathers, provoke not your children

Deut 6:6-7   Parents, teach your children the things of God

Eph 6:4         Parents, teach your children the things of God

Matt 19:4-6  Husbands, leave your parents and cleave to your wife.

1 Pet 3:7       Husbands, be understanding or your wife, give honor to her be the head of your wife, love your wife (Eph 5:22-24).

Eph 5:22-33 Wives, submit and respect your husband.

Eph 6:1-2     Children, obey and honor your parents

Historical perspective of the church on divorce:

Divorce was introduced not without some hesitation by Protestant Reformers on the basis of the apparently straightforward injunction found in Matthew Whosoever shall put way his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery” (italics added). Though the Reformers claimed that Catholic annulments were so easy to obtain that they were de facto divorces and ought to be recognized as such, Phillips presents a different picture: late medieval Church records show that annulments were rare and were used principally to invalidate bigamous second marriages.

The Reformers, however, were not champions of divorce, and legalization produced no immediate flood of divorces. Indeed, at the time, even bigamy was considered more acceptable than divorce, largely because of the strong Scriptural precedents among the patriarchs of Israel.

The original arguments for the dramatic liberalization of divorce laws in the nineteenth and early twentieth century’s seem surprisingly naive today: divorce was going to restore public morality, reduce illegitimacy and prostitution, strengthen marriages, increase the birthrate, and improve the status of women. None of these promises was fulfilled. Indeed, a recent study, Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, suggests that we are only beginning to see the full, tragic dimensions of divorce. In their study of families ten years after divorce, the authors find the signs of psychological trauma in former spouses as well as their children unabated do and often aggravated. Nor has divorce curtailed the “feminization of poverty.” During the 1986 divorce referendum in Ireland, one bitter woman remarked: “A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.” (Findarticles.com)

If you’re feeling anxious today, I’d like to offer some advice. First, let’s put anxiety into perspective with the words of Billy Graham, who wisely said, “Anxiety is the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God and His will for us.” If we could apply that truth to the parents of teenagers, the answer to anxiety is the same — to have faith in God to guide your teenager along the right path.

More about Parenting Today’s Teens…….

Guiding Teens on Life’s Highway

If you’re the parent of a teenager, chances are you spend a fair amount of time alternately pulling your hair out (hopefully, only figuratively speaking) and worrying.  Of course there are also moments of calm, even laughter, and occasional bliss, made all the more sweet in contrast to the worry and the inevitable conflicts.

I read a column recently by a man, a father, who thinks we worry too much about our teenagers.  His take is that things aren’t really all that bad, or all that different than they ever were.  Perhaps it’s true that every generation thinks they face problems with their adolescents previous generations never did.

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